Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

Over the years, I’ve received terrible Halloween candy while yelling at adults to give it to me. My experience with trick or treating has not yet expired, and it won’t for years. But if you are a person who will un-willfully give a child your candy, then you’d better get it right. Take my word for the best and worst Halloween candy, you’ll need it.

Worst Candy:

Milk Duds

Why do I even have to say this? Milk duds throw in a combination of caramel and refrigerated Chinese food. Trust me, it isn’t good. When you give this to a trick or treater, they will learn to never, ever, come back to your house again. That might seem good since you have a whole lot of extra candy, but you are stuck with milk duds. I know what you are feeling, because the most disappointing thing I’ve ever faced in my life, is finding Milk Duds in my pillowcase.

Sixlets

I’m sorry, but colorful pieces of what looks like plastic, with melted chocolate inside just isn’t good. You never usually receive sixlets on any other time of the year, that is because they don’t deserve a spot in stores. Trust me with this, the one thing that will draw a kid away from your frilly little rotten candy prison, is Sixlets. Again, that is bad because you are stuck with terrible candy.

Lemon heads

I don’t understand where people even get this type of candy from. I never see it in stores, gift bags, or along the Lollipop Guild. The only time of year you get these is in your pillowcase or cheap plastic buckets that won’t hold. Which is ironic, because they taste terrible. They aren’t exactly sweet either; they are just unimaginably sour in a terrible manor. Don’t give these to kids unless you feed your dog electricity, and then yell “BOOGLLY BOO!”

100 Grands

These would be fine if the caramel wasn’t too thick. There was once a prank where a radio station said,”There will be one lucky winner in our raffle that will win 100 Grand!” What do you think happened? In the mail, the woman got sent a 100 Grand bar. The candy has a bad history, and it hurts your tooth because of the incredibly thick caramel that gets caught in your tooth.

Sugar Daddies

This candy does taste amazing, but you will have to melt the caramel somehow when it gets stuck in your tooth. Trust me, these taste so good, but the caramel will kill you. Once I bit on a Sugar Daddie, and it got stuck to my teeth for a couple of hours. It hurt so incredibly bad.

Whoppers

I used to think these tasted good. I know right, that’s insane! These look pretty good, but looks can be deceiving. I’m not sure what these are, coconut balls? All I know about them is that they taste like dog lips, and they are spherical spheres.

Best Candy:

Nerds

This candy is just perfect. It does hurt your teeth, but it is worth it in the end. It has a sweet but sour taste, but that is all you need. I don’t reccomend this to parents who will anhilate candy, because the kids will remember to come to your house next Halloween, and there won’t be any candy left.

Hershey Bar

Chocolate is the best. Chocolate is the best. Chocolate is the best. Chocolate is the best. Chocolate is the best.  Chocolate is the best. Chocolate is the best. Chocolate is the best. Chocolate is the best. Chocolate is the best. Chocolate is the best. Chocolate is the best. Chocolate is the best. You have to love it.

Crunch Bar

Crunchy and yummy. Again, chocolate is the best. You have to love this, or you are a Chupacabra with a broken elephant tail. I know, you are terrible. Crunch lovers will proceed in triumph. While the others one day look up to a crunch bar and say,”I’m so blind! How could I not see how good you are!”

Twix Bar

I know all of these have the word “bar” in them now, but it is for a good reason. Twix bars are life for me. My favorite candy. Just the right amount of caramel, not too much, not too little.

It tastes good. Twix bars are the future, the present, and the past. They will one day become the Holy Grail of artifacts. The hare that the turtle looks up to. And the soil of the earth… Twix bars are forever!

This may be too late for this post since Halloween already passed. It is not like I expected this to be to useful anyways. You can tell I couldn’t think of any more good candy, but at least I could come up with a few. At least I wrote something.

This was post 4 out of 30 for NaBloPoMo. 26 more to go! I have a feeling that this might have a good benefit on me, but I can’t be too sure.

This was origingally posted on The Trip Through Annoyingness. You can go there here:

http://thetripthroughannoyingness.wordpress.com/

Advertisements