Well, it’s that time of year again. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Though, if you don’t, I will tell you. It’s nearly Christmas. This is about the 3rd time I’ve done a post about holiday jokes, so now I guess I will be doing it whenever a holiday comes around. At least it is a whole lot less work doing them than my usual posts, so that is a bonus for me. Just to remind you, I didn’t make any of these jokes, because I can’t and won’t, so I just took them off many different websites on the internet. So, I guess there are only two appropriate words to say to end this paragraph, so I shall continue. Merry Christmas! And a happy, happy, happy, Hot Tea Month (that is a thing, search it up).
Q.) Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas eve?
A.) Because it soot’s him!
Q.) What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Clause?
Q.) What do you get if you deep-fry Santa?
A.) Crisp Kringle!
Q.) Who is the average elf’s favorite singer?
A.) Elf-is Presley!
Q.) How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A.) Nothing, it was on the house!
Q.) What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad?
A.) A pineapple!
Q.) Which one of the reindeer is the meanest, most horrible one of all?
Q.) What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A.) A humbug!
Q.) What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A.) The list of things you want!
Q.) Why was Santa’s helper elf depressed?
A.) Because he had low ELF-esteem!
Q.) What does Krissy K (A.K.A. the big Clause) like to do in his garden?
A.) He likes to hoe hoe hoe!
Q.) What do you get when you cross Count Dracula with Frosty the Snowman?
Q.) Who delivers presents to all the little shark children of the world on Christmas?
A.) Santa Jaws!
Q.) What did one snowman say to his fellow snowman?
A.) “Do you smell carrot?!”
Q.) What did the cow get for Christmas?
A.) A COW-culator!
Q.) What do you call an old snowman?
Q.) What is green, white, and red all over?
A.) A sun-burnt elf!
Q.) What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A.) A broken drum- you can’t beat it!
Q.) How does a snowman lose weight?
A.) He waits for the weather to get a little warmer!
Q.) How does a snowman get around?
A.) He rides an icicle!
Q.) What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?
A.) It’s Christmas, Eve!
Q.) What do you get when you cross ‘The Big Kringle’ with a detective?
A.) Santa Clues!
Q.) What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A.) You get Ribbon Hood!
Q.) What’s a good holiday tip?
A.) Never catch snowflakes with your tongue unless all of the birds have gone south for Winter!
Well, I guess that concludes my, well, ‘wonderful’ list of Christmas jokes. I guess there is only one more appropriate thing to say, yet again. Have a merry Christmas, and a jolly Hot Tea Month (Google it!)!