On August 6, 2014, little did I know that I would be able to go this far with writing, for I only just started writing on WordPress. Well, I did, and instead of only having one post on this blog, I now have 100! I can’t believe that. I expected this entire blog to fall in to an abyss full of hopelessness and despair, and there were a couple of times when this blog fell in that abyss. But, I managed to climb out of it, and the outcome was wonderful. I have put my heart, soul, and tears in to making this whole thing work, and I couldn’t be any happier. I can remember myself thinking that I wouldn’t make it past 5 posts without just giving up, but now I can only laugh at the thought, because now I’m at 100! To make absolutely everything clear, of course I want a whole lot of views, follows, and likes on this blog. I get excited from spam comments; they make me more happy than an elephant would be if they got a big old bucket of peanuts. So what? At least I got this far. This is my moment. In the beginning, it really was a stupid, childish thought that I would get remotely close to reaching 100 posts. I worked, cried, and pushed myself that far, and I can only agree with myself back then, because it is, a stupid, childish thought, reaching 100, that is. But that’s what makes it so special. This is my writing. I got this far doing what I love to do. And I think that that is an achievement by itself, being able to love what you do enough to take it to the next level. That even though it is unbelievable, I did it. And yes, I am aware that many, I repeat, many, other people have gotten to 100, but at least I did. And, to me, that is all that counts.
I mean, this all has been a journey. A tough, long, somewhat horrible journey. But, I climbed to the top of that mountain. I punched doubt in the face during the times it bugged me. And after all of this time, I can still remember what I was thinking when I published my first post on the blog. Of course I was nervous; I was putting my voice on the internet, where there was no privacy, and everyone could see my writing. I was afraid there would be hecklers, and meanies, and BEARS! Oh, the thought of bears. But, when I pressed that button, relief washed over, and I felt, well, good! The pushing of the button gave me a chance out in the real world; the chance to make my small, little voice heard. And I did. The relief of that button-push came to me 98 more times, hopefully more incoming.
You know, I think the thing that made me stick through all the madness was just two words; What if? What if I keep going, and strike gold? What if I stop, and leave behind my life and soul? If I publish a post, what if it goes viral, or gets Freshly Pressed (not that I’m asking for that, though I have been hoping)? All of these questions inspired me to stick with it. They molded me in to the person I am right now. Now, if I look back to myself, thinking that question while I published my first post, I would answer saying that the answer revolves around myself being myself. I would tell myself that I have to stick with it, and I guess good would come out of it. Well, I guess good did come out of it. And, to be honest, I couldn’t be any happier.