I have been delaying it for a week or so now, but I guess the pressure has finally driven me to a conclusion: I should finally take down my Christmas decorations.
Everyone has been telling me that I lost my mind to still have my decorations up, and saying that the bond that I have created with the Christmas radio channel on Pandora is abnormal and creepy. Well, if those people don’t appreciate it, then I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry if I am having trouble letting go of the magic of Christmas. The sweet scent of eggnog. The satisfying sound of the warm and welcoming music. I just miss it. And that is why I have a carton of eggnog lying the back of my freezer.
My decorations still stand tall in my yard. Of course the wind perpetually blows them over, but that’s ok. I think it is a sign of beauty, and wonderment, but everyone else doesn’t seem to appreciate it. They don’t like it enough to write a threatening letter to me. But, it seems to have gone to that point where the universe seems to be upset with me. My angel decoration keeps falling over, flat on its face. Today, its wings fell off, and its halo somehow flung across our yard, us later to find out it was broken. And, our cute little light up Santa Clause bear fell off the side of our porch, but the wire wasn’t long enough to allow him to reach the ground. Long story short, it pulled the plug on half of our lights, and its way too cold to fix it. Our house now looks like Christmas vomited all over it. So, is that a bad sign? Does the universe want me to take them down? Does it want me to be depressed and sad? I mean, look at my angel before the incident.
You know, maybe the universe is right. Maybe my crazy has taken over a little bit? Maybe I should let Christmas go? Actually, I just thought about: No, I will just keep clinging to Christmas, for what, well, I don’t know, 11 months?
(pretend you are hearing an evil witch laugh)
Actually, I think I’m done with it. The season was nice, but now when I think of it, the eggnog in my refrigerator is gross, the music now makes me want to claw my eyes out, and my decorations look out of place. Well, that’s a fine howjadoo (laugh track). Goodbye Christmas!