I don’t have the slightest clue on how I will be able to deliver this letter to you- my Flux capacitor ran out of Plutonium, and I can’t get any more of it- so this letter will just remain a figment of make-believe. Maybe I will find some way to do it, but before then, this will just be a letter.
Alright, a lot has changed since we left off. Where are you? Oh yeah, the Dumb Ages- I mean… that year! A lot is coming for you in the future, and I don’t know what you would think of it, but you probably won’t live to see the end of this huge spoiler alert. Yeah, BECAUSE YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD! What you are used to, churning butter, lighting candles, ladies wearing a unbelievable amount of clothing will all be gone in time. That relates to something else. Who gets to vote in the future??? 1…2…3…LADIES! In the future-times, there is no slavery, and women and men are considered equal. Instead of inking the end of a quill to write a letter that will get to another person after months after you sent it, we use a magical button board, which has all of the numbers of the alphabet on it, and we press the buttons we want to form words, and those words go on to another magical board! It’s sorcery! With that, we finish our letters, then we move a pad, and we swerve the pad around, and press the pad down hard, and….. there it is! At that instant, the magic letter is sent to another person, who will look at the magical screen, and see the letter!!!
But, before I completely spoil your distant future, lets spoil the near one! Alright, at this year, 1800, John Adams is the president. But, in the next hundred, these are who you are going to be seeing. (deep breath) AND…
Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe (a lot of James), John Quincy Adams, Andrew Jackson, Martin Van Buren, William Henry Harrison, John Tyler, James K. Polk, Zachary Taylor, Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, Abe Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, and that’s about all you will see in your life!!!
Now, with that off my back, lets continue. In the next century, there will be some more war, but we win it. Actually, in 12 years the War of 1812 is gonna break out, so good luck with that. And in 200 years the world will end. I’m sure you noticed that, in my last sentence, instead of writing ‘going to’ like a sane person, I wrote ‘gonna.’ In this year (2015), it’s socially acceptable to make words shorter. For example, this is what a text message (that will be explained) sent from a cellular telephone would look like;
hi i am gr8 and u are dum LOL
Yeah, I know. I don’t really know why people write like this, maybe because it is more convenient, but it also is stupid. Especially stupid for you, when you probably look at what I’m writing and saying it is the laziest thing you have ever seen. and you are probably right. But, writing nowadays isn’t the only thing lazy. America has gotten a reputation for being the fattest country. Right now, as I type this, I’m slouching, and no one around me is bothered by it. Instead of tending to the crops, people of today sit on the couch and stare at their Instagram feed for countless hours. Just in case you are wondering, an Instagram is an application we have on our mobile phones- tiny, pocket-sized boxes, that magically move, and can change what is on the by touching it! Witchcraft! America has gone from being full of people strong and dedicated to being the fattest country in the U.S. Which is sad.
But, before you peep in to a world you will never see, lets talk about some things that go on back then. What is it like? I imagine it would be nice, but you probably are thinking that life in the future is much better. But I’m not sure, because today, no one looks up, and instead stares down at their cellular telephones. But, before I get in to an emotional monologue, I want to spoil a few things that I read in a textbook. Back in your times (the dumb ages- nevermind), a big war is going to break out in a few decades, the Civil War, where the U.S. would literally divide itself and the other United States would fight for the continuation of slaver. Now, the U.S. beat the Confederate states, and now there is no slavery. While I write this, you must feel like I am this God (don’t give your opinion on that), looking upon my past and then giving your future. Truth is, I’m a boy, with a magic box, where I can access all the world’s information by a single click. Wow, with that description I sound a lot better than I am. But, I can spoil your life, but I won’t, because I don’t know your name!
Alright, now, lets shift to this future. We life in a Big Brother society, where we are probably spied on by the government! And, while we can access all the world’s information, the government can access all our information. ILLUMINATI!!!!!!! EVERYONE NEEDS TO TAKE COVER BEFORE THE WORLD WILL END!!!!! Everything is a plot to end the world! We are being under constant surveillance by the puppets they use to keep our heads low while the sun blows out like a dead light bulb!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!