Alright, so on today’s re-writing process, here is one with a little more history. The Paranormal Quaker Oats Guy, one of my main icons here and about one of the weirdest of my creations. This one, my 4th blog post, is where he originated, followed by my second one a while later. But, I think I’m going to enjoy re-writing this one today, because it is about my favorite post yet. And, before I get myself in another trance where I just keep droning on and on on topics that have been burning in the back of my head to get out for a million years now, like birds, and cats, and stonehenge, and Old Bay seasoning, let’s show the original.
4:53- My Dad got a Quaker oats jar with the guy on it a few years ago and now he took it out of the basement and put it in the kitchen. His smirk is scaring me.
5:34- The Quaker oat guy is telling me something telepathically. I just know it but first i have to get proof.
5:45- I think his fake eyes are glaring in to my soul. OK, that might have sounded a little too deep, but it is still creepy.
6:01- Im going to look inside the jar, if I dont make it, tell the wife I never had I fake love her.
6:31- I couldn’t do it because I swear his eyes turned red when I was about to do it.
6:43- Is he smirking at me or smiling. It is really hard to tell.
6:59- I dont know what to do right now, I’ll just tell myself 50 times that it is just a jar.
7:24- The jar(I think) just told me telepathically that he is just misunderstood and he is really nice and he is ashamed that he scares people. Awwww. Now i feel bad.
Gosh. Alright, so just to clarify again, the whole idea of re-writing them isn’t like saying that the post I wrote a year ago is bad, and that I’m embarrassed by it and am trying to change them and make them better (even though they are bad, and I am embarrassed by some of them 🙂 ). The idea is merely to show how one can change within such a short amount of time. Get it now? Good. Alright, now let’s re-write!!!
4:53 PM– My dad got a Quaker Oats jar with the freaky Quaker on it a few years ago, and he just found it while trekking through old boxes, so he pulled it out and brought it upstairs, where its creepy face isn’t hidden away in a cardboard box. The smirk printed on his inanimate face is scaring me.
5:34 PM- He….he…just whispered something in my ear, somehow, even though he is across the room. I’M NOT CRAZY!! He obviously used black magic to steal legs from someone, and walked over and whispered in my ear than used black magic to teleport away!!! SEEEEEE!!!! NOT CRAZY!
5:45- I think his black, unholy eyes are opening a gateway in to the depths of my living soul. Sorry, that came off a little to creepy for you people without a freaky jar to comprehend.
6:01- i’M going to GO and loOk inside of tHe Jar. If I don’t make it back tell my dead fish “Charlie said hi.”
6:31- I couldn’t do it because his eyes flashed blood-red before I could even touch his nose!!!
6:43- Is that a smirk, or a smile? And what is he doing with those most likely cold, and clammy hands of his? WRITING IN A DEATH NOTEBOOK THAT HE STOLE FROM THE JAPANESE BOOK SERIES??? OR HOLDING A LOAF OF BREAD THAT HE MURDERED THE WORKERS AT PANERA WITH AFTER HE STOLE IT FROM THEM????
6:59- I honestly don’t know what to do right now. Maybe it’s just paranoia? NO IT’S BLACK MAGIC AND THAT’S FINAL!!!!
7:24- With his black magic legs, I think the jar just walked over to me and whispered about he is just a misunderstood black magic jar, and he feels ashamed that he scares people because he never meant to. Aww. Now I feel bad.