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You are now entering the weird part of the internet. I can’t guarantee things will turn out ok, but to increase our chance of making it out untouched let’s hold pinkies. And after that we can take down Farquaad.

Today, we will tackling down a little toy that almost everyone has heard of, called the Barbie. Everyone has made fun of a Barbie doll at one point, and everyone has looked down on them. But, even something so bland and so stereotypical as the average Barbie doll has a weird side. Today, we are going to take a look at those. So buckle up! And turn off and electronic devices during the takeoff…

1.) Slumber Party Barbie

Ok. Slumber Party Barbie. Fine. Nothing weird about that. Moving on… wait a second. Among the little collection of things barbie brought along for her slumber party, was a diet book called “How To Lost Weight.” Ok… a little unusual for a children’s toy. But, if you open it up, there is this little, removable yellow sheet that says “DON’T EAT!!!”

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Of course, this caused a lot of controversy. But, the bigger idea here is why? Why put that in a children’s toy?

2.) Teen Talk Barbie

A little unusual. Teen Talk Barbie, another weird name, and in this case, a LOT more controversy, and you’ll see why. Barbie is dressed a little like a girl stereotype was supposed to dress like in the 90’s, and then there was this. If you pressed a button or something, Barbie would either say, “Math class is tough!” “Will we ever have enough clothes?,” “I love shopping!,” or “Party dresses are fun!” Yeah. Awkward.

3.) Shaving Fun Ken!

Introducing the 20 year old Shaving Fun Ken doll! Wouldn’t all the little boys and girls of the 90’s just love to shave Ken’s face over and over and over again? It is a great pacifier, and it is just what we love to do in the weird world of the 90’s!

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4.) Poop And Scoop Barbie

More well know as Barbie Forever and Tanner the Dog. Now, with this doll, you make food go in, and out, of the dog she is walking. Fun! After all, maybe people enjoyed doing that back then? Maybe it is just a hobby, and maybe this doll helps many young children who aspire to walk dog and pick up poop in Capri pants?

5.) McDonald’s Fun Time Barbie!

Alright, this has to be one of the weirdest so far. Barbie now knows how to flip burgers! Good for you Barbie. Now that we got that cleared up, NO ONE HAS YET NOTICED THAT THERE IS A CHILD WITH LOOPING PIGTAILS!!! Call Issac Newton, because this child has defied gravity!

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How does one make her hair do that! I wish to know!!!

6.) Oreo Barbie!

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OK… this was a controversial one for easy reasons to tell. First off, Oreo is a derogatory slang term for ethnicity! Yup, Mattel has a lot of explaining to do here. And they still do after years, because this is pretty old.

7.) ‘The Birds’ Barbie!

Run! Hide! And protect the birdseed! Because the birds are coming back. This time on Barbie!

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Right when you think things couldn’t get any weirder… they did. She has a brain of birdseed!

8.) Happy Family Barbie!

I am not sharing any of the pictures for the sake of everyone in this sick, twisted world. But why?! Why is this a thing! And why is Barbie’s friend Midge pregnant? Aren’t they teenagers?! GOD!! I’ll never understand this world!

9.) Beam Me Up Barbie!!!

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Of course, if they could be a burger barbie, a poop and scoop barbie, and a bird barbie, there had to be this. But what I don’t get is if Mattel has already made the stereotype say “Math class is tough!,” why is she boarding a mission through space and time to explore the new frontier? Shouldn’t she be too busy flipping burgers in the atmosphere?

AND FINALLY…

10.) Wash and Watch Barbie!

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Now, barbie will be entertained for hours to come as she watches the dishwasher! And, when the plates come out, it will have changed color! Does Barbie have anything better to do with her life?

Bonus!

The Hello Hello Barbie!

This little gal is just like Siri with a body, and it asks you questions, and it will record your answers! Fun! But, it will also send your answer back to Mattel, where your child’s voice and information just sits in a cloud and waits… until they need to use it for something…..

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