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My once a over-flowing abundance of Halloween, such a supply that was expected to last throughout New Year’s has been dwindling over the times that I’ve had. What was once a cornucopia of Twix and life is now a compilation of the bad stuff, the ones we are highly unlikely to ever touch within our short lifetimes- like M&Ms and Twizzlers. And, when you finally see that your supply has completely diminished, those awful colored Tootsie rolls that seem to slap you with a brick within the first glimpse.

I mean, what am I supposed to do with that? Maybe I will take of all of the wrappers, dig up a hole in the ground, and leave them for the dirt to enjoy. Or, maybe they will have a nice brunch with the trash can? I guess I might just have to wait until my mom or dad has seen the sad looking bag lying around the house long enough to be rid of it. Other than that, I am out of options.

But I really don’t know what happened. I had to have around 50 Hershey bars on the night they were obtained on. Exaggeration or not, let’s go along with it. A few weeks in to the present today, they are all gone, whereas I have only consumed around half of the amount listed. I JUST WANT MY CHOCOLATE BACK!!!! And with all of my Twix bars. I had to have around 20 of those, but I know for a fact that I ate around 6 of them, and they ended up just like the last bunch. Gone.

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I don’t know how it happened! One second I was frolicking in the pleasant meadow, indulging in the joys that life has brought to the table, but the next that bountiful land was stripped away from me, the remnants only in being the wrappers of what once was. Now I’m back on planet earth, left with only Skittles and Whoppers. Whoever ate those Hershey bars, and whoever touched the Twix, you are going to be engulfed in eternal flames for even thinking about laying a finger on my candy!!!!

Alright. You know what, life? I’M DONE WITH YOUR STUPID CANDY!!!! Sometimes the universe can be plenty annoying. A week from today will be Thanksgiving, a holiday with the centerpiece of food, an obese man’s dream. I guess I will be able to give up my collective of such bad candy as Dots and Milk Duds. WHY ARE MILK DUDS EVEN A THING?! Ok, I will give up the candy in an exchange for a cornucopia because I really want one ERMYGURD I NEED A CORNUCOPIA!!!! ARGH!!! OH MY GOURD DO I WANT ONE OF THESE!!!

iwantthisermygourd

 

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