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I love Christmas. The wait until the wonderful day arrives is simply unBEARable!

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And my favorite part of the season has to be listening to the jolly ol’ tunes on the radio. Piling in to the car, starting the engine and turning on the radio to unexpectedly be slapped in the face by Burl Ives or Nat King Cole. I would laugh every time the song Deck The Halls approaches the lyric ‘don be now our gay apparel,’ and sing along to just about anything that comes up. But, with the best comes the worst, and that it what I will be discussing today. So, put your hands together for…

THE WORST CHRISTMAS SONGS!!!!

Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You

Oh my god, I can’t tell you how much I hate this song. One second I’m having a holly jolly Christmas, and then the other I have to endure the painful words out of the mouth of one of my least favorite singer. WORDS CAN’T DESCRIBE how much I hate this. Go spoil someone elses’ Christmas Mariah Carey!!!

Paul McCartney’s Have A Wonderful Christmastime

I could go a millennium without having to hear this horse poo once more. I don’t want to have a wonderful Christmas time if this song is encouraging me to. The lyrics will never get out of my head now that I’ve ranted about hating it. THANKS A LOT PAUL MCARTNEY!!!! By the way, I’ve never liked the Beatles!

Elmo & Patsy’s Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

I solemnly apologize to all elders who had to suffer through that song. It just makes me so sad, how an older woman gets stepped on by an over sized moose. And the annoyingly catchy tune that surrounds it doesn’t help a bit. Like every other song on this list, I would rather have to drink an entire carton of eggnog than have to listen to this song any day ever.

Eartha Kitt’s Santa Baby

Only hearing Rudolph or Have A Holly Jolly Christmas can quell the rage that grows in my soul every time I have to suffer through this Christmas tragedy. I know everyone loves it and I am making fun of a classic, but that classic has somewhat made fun of me, having to listen through it and wishing I could be watching a Hallmark Christmas movie (even though I hate those too).

Wham!’s Last Christmas

This song is like death wrapped within a raw egg. With garlic on it. If I had to hear this once more I will literally wham Wham! in the head. It’s that bad. And the radio stations love it, so I have to hear it countless time during the season that I once loved.

 

Okay then. All of these songs deserve to die a death that can not be compared to any others. The happiest thing that would happen in my life would be if someone told me that all of these songs were ripped away from the fabric of existence and could never be played again. I would like that.

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