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On this patriotic day before the holiday that celebrates what makes us Americans truly Americans, let us delve deep in to the roots of our country, and explore the massive expanse of what makes us proud to be standing on this sacred land….cuz of corn y’all.

1.) This corn

Ears of sweet corn

from Mother Earth News

I don’t know about all you bald eagles but this is some mighty fine corn right here.

2.) Corn with a special green coat

corn

also from Mother Earth News

This one corn in particular is absolutely magnificent. There are no words that can describe the rigid yet stylish beauty of this here corn.

3.) Multiple cornz

corn2

The stunning nature of these corns are enough to leave any prideful citizen in tears. With their fragile green hair hanging delicately from the roof of their designer green coats, you must be loving these corns.

4.) Creature partially made of corn

corn3

from The Nerdist

I have no clue on how to identify the type of cat in the picture, but I have enough context to make a generalization on how inspiring it is the lengths people (in this case cat-like dog cow) will go to protect and love their cornz. This truly makes me prideful to call this land home.

5.) Corn dewritos

corn4

from Dewritos

I’m sorry if this picture disturbed some. It is a harrowing and shameful example of the tortures our corn brothers and sisters must face to live up to society’s impossible expectations of them. This is just the result in living in a society where the rule is judge or be judged.

6.) Many, many corns in a field of other cornz

corn5

Now we can spot corns finally in a land where there are free to be who they want, do what they want, and live life in a free enviornment. This is truly what we should strive towards as a country. We must be inspired by these corns and break the shackles and chains that confine us to what we are told we must do and what we must be. We have to live like the corns, except without the part of being eaten. Or am I just combining well thought out, well conveyed political statements with corn? I don’t know, I’m tired. I haven’t slept properly in like, 2 days.

7.) Seeing double cornz

corn6

I don’t know if it is just me, but there are like, two corns here that look exactly alike. They share similar proportions, almost identical kernels, but one is bigger than the other. This one is seriously spooking me.

8.) Cornzzz

cornfeld

Ah, and here we see some crudely photoshopped corn on the faces of the cast of Seinfeld. A truly magnificent feature.

I hope you all tipped your fedoras today in honor of this wonderful vegetable, be sure to legally light some fireworks tonight in honor of this momentous occasion that will occur tomorrow. Have a wonderful day…

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