This morning, we were cleaning out tons of old boxes of toys that we thought could be a great donation…. to the trash bin. But, while we were cleaning stuff out, we found a little box, filled with all of the stuff I made when I was little.
Lately, I’ve been tearing apart our house for these kinds of things, because there was a lot of stuff I had made back then. You see, I was obsessed with writing, and I was about as good as you would expect a child to be, so not much difference from today. And I made so many little stories, wrote so many books, and wrote some other wordy stuff. So, I moved the box out of the closet, and saw that there was another one behind it! Nostalgia jackpot!
I decided to open the one behind it first, and the big finale would be the first one. And when I opened it up…. you will not believe that I found a whole stack of Mad Magazines!!!
And, by that, you may be thinking, ‘That is inappropriate for a young child to own!’ And yes, you are correct. When I was little, I was obsessed with these things! All the time, my dad and I would go down to the Berlin Auction and buy ourselves a whole stack. Of course, my dad would cross out the bad words and the cringe-y things that a father would hate for his child to see, but I would scream and scream at him to stop. So it was kind of a good point for him, and a low one for me. Even though there was a black sharpie over the censored parts, I would always get a light to look past it and I did! I went back and read one to see what was so bad about them, and I saw all right! I put the magazines away quickly and moved to the next box.
I opened up the box, and what I saw was… a whole lot of paper.. In a panicked frenzy (yes, you can combine the words panic and frenzy, even though you technically are over-exaggerating because they both mean the same things and it is a little redundant) I flipped the papers over, and found that there actually was something! My All Purpose Magazines!!! You see, when I was little, I got inspiration from MAD (I had no idea you could get inspiration at 7 years old from that graphic problem waiting to happen, but ok), and I made my own magazine, called All Purpose Magazine. It would usually start with the title on the cover, with a drawing of, I don’t know, a Scandinavian Muskrat, with the acclaimed title of ‘My Best Scandinavian Muskrat. Then, on the first page, it would list what was in it, what number issue it was, and what month. Then, there would be the Scribble Game, where you take I random scribble I did and turn it in to something. Moving on, the next page would usually be the reading log. Yes, I put a reading on there because I was so wholesome. You should have probably called the young Mr. Rogers then. On the next page, I would write a story, usually about dogs. I don’t know why dogs were such a hot topic for me back then, but there were. Then, there would be the ‘Look at it’ page, where I would draw a picture of a vase and give it the title of ‘World’s Fanciest Vase.’ If you didn’t have enough evidence that I was a child Mr. Rogers back then, here you go. Then you’d find the MATH section. After that, you’d find the Lot’s O’ Laughs section. Yes, instead of saying of I put o’, that’s how much of a comic I was. In that section, there would be something like a picture of Rapunzel with rocks in her hair saying ‘Rocks!’. And that was it.
I was looking through and laughing about how cute it was, until I saw in the special Fall edition that there was a story, and I was ready to read until I saw this beginning line;
Ms. Househouse was black with blaand har.
Yikes. That was enough for me. I’m not usually one to do something like that but that was me 4 years ago. So, by this point I think you can see why this was my trip down nostalgia lane from HECK! Sleep well, and hope I don’t bump in to you around, say-say, midnight. MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHHAAHAAH!!!!