Let’s start off today’s rewriting process with the original;
This morning Marshall woke me up and told me that we were going to the Happy Hippo toy store to get a LEGO set called The Lion CHI Temple. We went there and he grabbed it like he knew where it was from heart. Then I looked around for something and I found a Magic 8 Ball. I asked it if I wanted to get it then shook it and it said “My sources say No.” IT was hurtful but I decided to get it anyways. It felt like it was really calling out to me, so i bought it (so did the 5 fart bombs, so i got them too!) I asked it when we got in the car “Was buying you worth it?” it said “Outlook not so good.” It basically said that it would have been better off in the store. Later I started asking it questions. First i asked it “Is Ross Lynch’s hair fake?” It said” Without a doubt.” Then I asked it “Will good fortune come in the future?” It said “Outlook not so good.” Then I asked “Was there a time in the universe where hot dogs were actual dogs?” It said “Better not tell you now.” In case there was a time where hot dogs were actual dogs, it would look like this.
So I learned something today. I was asking a ball for advice… Now I’m really embarrassed, but I still like the ball. And also, Fart bombs don’t lie!
Okkkaaayyy. I remember thinking how great that was on the day I actually wrote it, and literally fell in love with it even though I look back on it today and cringe. But, for the re-written part, shan’t we begin?
ON THIS PARTICULAR MORNING, my over the top brother shook me out of the bed while I was binge watching Bob’s Burgers but I was asleep. Yeah, it’s a condition, when while you sleep, your sleepwalk over to the remote, turn on Netflix and turn it on and continue to sleep while listening to it. I have to suffer through it. Marshall couldn’t make sense of anything, and just gabbed his fast-paced gibberish. I blinked, trying to wake up and make sense of what was going on, and when I realized that Marshall was just being his regular self, I laid back down and went back to sleep, but before I could close one eyeball, Marshall shook me back out and screamed, “WE ARE GOING TO THE HAPPY HIPPO TO GET ME, MARSHALL A LEGO SET NAMED THE LION CHI TEMPLE BY LEGO!!!!” I felt betrayed. 7:00 o’clock in the morning, and forced to go out to a cheesy toy store in Haddonfield. But, there was no stopping it when the motor has already started running. So we took off.
When we entered the store, the brother that I no longer know ran up and grabbed the set like he new where it was from heart. Then, I looked around for something and in all the curiosity, I found a Magic 8 Ball. To dust away the mysterious physique of the situation, I asked the question burning in my mind. “Do I wish to get you?” In all the anticipation, it replied, “My sources say no.” I asked in reply, “Should I get you?” The ball abruptly replied, “No.” I asked to follow it up, “Do you want me to get you?” In all of its circular-ness, the ball responded, “No.” I felt like it really wanted just to stay on a dusty old shelf in a store named after a hippo, but it cannot really stop me, so I bought it anyways (as did the 5 fart bombs).
We got in the car, and I decided to ask it questions to start it off. “Did you ever go camping?” “Cannot predict now.” “Do you like cake?” “Cannot predict now.” “Do you feel good about curtains?” “Cannot predict now.” What the?…. Was it broken? Was it stubborn? Because it wasn’t responding to me!!!! I was unimpressed. I was promised magic!!! All I got was a cheap ball that wouldn’t even answer the deepest questions of the universe!!!! There was no magic involved in my purchase!!!! NONE!!!! I asked it a few more questions to prove my hypothesis, but still, it would not budge.
Later on I tried it again. Luckily, when I asked it if it liked candy corn, it said yes, so I quickly asked it a few more questions. First off I asked its mythicality, “Will good fortune come in the future?” It let the cookie crumble by saying, “Outlook not so good.” I didn’t lost hope, for I then asked, “Was buying you worth the 9 bucks?” “No.” Apparently, it was better off in a hippos mouth. Finally, I asked it, “Was there a time in the universe where hot dogs were actually dogs?” It responded, “Better not tell you now.” Ok, if there ever was a gruesome period in history such as that one, I’m pretty sure it would look like this;
So, I believe that I learned many things today. Number one. I INTERROGATED A BALL!!!
Here is the link to the old post;