Recently, I did a post about all the Halloween jokes I have heard. Now, I’m looking at Thanksgiving, and I thought I should do another post, but this time about Thanksgiving jokes that I took from the internet. Thanksgiving is placed at the worst time of year. It is wedged between the two most popular holidays, Halloween and Christmas. So, to pay my respects to this holiday, I present to you, The Complete Thanksgiving Joke Compilation! Enjoy, I hope you get Santa Claus-traphobia! Oh wait, that is a Christmas joke, DANG IT!
Q.) Why does Santa have three gardens?
A.) So he can ho ho ho.
Oh wait, Thanksgiving jokes, not Christmas. Sorry about that!
Q.) What is a pilgrim’s favorite type of music?
A.) Plymouth rock!
Q.) Why do pilgrim’s pants always fall down?
A.) Because the belt buckles are on their HATS!
Q.) Why did the turkey cross the road?
A.) It was the chicken’s day off!
Q.) Who is not hungry on Thanksgiving?
A.) The turkey, because he’s already stuffed!
Q.) What is the key to a good Thanksgiving dinner?
A.) The turKEY!
Q.) What do you call it when you drop a turkey from a helicopter?
A.) Dead weight!
Q.) Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A.) Because he had the drumsticks!
Q.) Why did the police arrest the turkey?
A.) They suspected it of fowl play!
Q.) What country ironically does not celebrate Thanksgiving?
Q.) Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
A.) Because they use FOWL language!
Q.) What did the baby corn say to the mommy corn?
A.) Where’s popcorn?!
Q.) What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?
A.) A poultry-geist!
Q.) What comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
A.) The letter g!
Q.) What do you wear to Thanksgiving diner?
A.) A har-vest!
Q.) What happens when a turkey gets in to a fight?
A.) He gets the stuffing out of him!
Q.) What happens when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A.) You get pumpkin pi!
Q.) What key won’t open any door?
A.) A turkey!
Q.) What did the turkey say to the hunter?
A.) ‘Quack, Quack, Quack!’
Q.) What are unhappy cranberries called?
Q.) What is a turkey’s favorite desert?
A.) A peach gobbler!
Q.) Why do potatoes make good detectives?
A.) Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Q.) What is the best thing to put in a pumpkin pie?
A.) Your teeth!
The Man Who Forgot To Buy A Turkey For Thanksgiving
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
‘Please let me in, ‘says the man desperately. ‘I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.’
‘Okay, ‘says the butcher.’ Let me see what I have left.’ He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s one last scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
‘That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?’ says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
‘Oh, no, ‘says the man, ‘That one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them!’
A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES.
I hope you enjoyed! This was much easier then my normal posts, because actually being able to add someone else’s humor without being arrested is so much fun. Merry Chrism….I mean Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, I mean.. well, yeah. Happy Thanksgiving.